I’m not looking for an audience I promise I’m not. I just got so much to say and I want to be heard. Like how He loved me despite of my demanding attitude. The desire of wanting things to go my way regardless of what He said. How He allowed me to fail without a death sentence hanging around my neck. Instead my arrogance was turned into Humility when I took a glimpse of how my life could be. I know without a doubt God saved me.
It started when I was still an adolescent a plan of escape. How could I get away, how would I flee from voluntary confinement. The belief to lose my thoughts after being tied down by the negative verbiage of doubters. Drifting away from every conversation that did not feed my intellect. A plan I made to free myself from insanity! There was no way I was going to be a slave to backwards thinking. Held captive with restraints of a belief system created to only allow me to dream. Visualizing the Impossible is a break away I owe myself consistently.
Curious to know the deciding factor for the cremation ordered on Grants dog. To have him enshrined is considerably relative to her emotional well being. Placing her infinite friend in a memorable keepsake is an honorable notion. Grant will forevermore be grateful for the act of servitude. Despite not having the will power to decide on Faythes final resting place I know she’ll be pleased with your overall planning. You considered going forward and not just reminiscing on the past. Knowing her dog will always be around will certainly comfort her pain. He will always be preserved in her heart.
Without announcements I take off to travel a world that is unfamiliar. Escaping to depths of something different never seen by the visual eye. No bags pack I slip away just to relax and unload the negative energy crossing my Peace. I must meditate on positive endeavors allowing my mind to be at ease. Going further and further away every time I discover sleeping while awake is a dream. The thrill of each getaway keeps me grounded to foundation that formed me. I have to fly away every once in awhile it’s how I handle a revolving circle called earth.
If water was a Holy substance and I had a desire to drink could I be sustained? The elements of H2O fulfill the drought of what’s needed in a world that’s divided. Holy to believe that ones life is created by the thoughts buried in their mind. How can you speak Life and be tone deaf to whisper of your heart. Holy is the lamb that was slain as a sacrifice. Interesting theory if you believe an animal is equal to a human life. Holy should you be once you understand the terminology behind the myth. So Live out Loud!
My life has changed something happened along the way. I started to notice things were no longer the same. Abruptly without notice I started to pay attention from the inside out. A force stronger than my own interrupted the life I was accustomed to living. No pleasantries offered it just took over like an excuse to be noticed. As I viewed the image in the reflection I wondered quietly. The birth of energy suddenly barging its way in. Allowed me to visualize elevation outside my membrane. The unknown intervened and now my thoughts are clear. Punctuated by time I arrived!
Identifying with the diagnosis of my wellness! I prefer the details of my life to be organized by specifics. There has to be an order of process for cycles if not everything will be a wash. OCD is a significant attribute I’m fond of. If any notation of a thought is out of sequence I meditate. Training my mind to focus on the importance of steps that was ordered before conception. Mastering Destiny you must find a path that strengthens your intellect. Never fall victim to negative behavior think positive and stay the course. Your order is ready ~ Now Live
How do I explain all the events that has transpired. The guilt the shame can I ever recover from a tragedy such as this? Where did I go wrong thinking I could win in a game built with lies. I feel so broken from guilt tearing me apart from the inside. My digestive system is all out of order. The sluggish feeling is so overwhelming I can barely hold my head up. Let me try to drink some water with hope to detox my organs. I became victim of a milk challenge and the guilt alone will ruin my image.